Le question du jour...

Source - http://jeremii.tumblr.com/post/2100958006

Today marks the halfway point of my language immersion in Bordeaux. I wasn’t going to write a blog post during my time here as I want concentrate on my French, but a question that has been haunting me for months now was asked of me again today and I thought I would use my blogging platform to give an answer.

Ever since I arrived in Paris on that wet, cold, rainy morning in May, I have been asked the same question almost on a daily basis. Especially working as a tour guide, where every day felt like Groundhog Day and I was having the same conversations over and over again.

So, what exactly is this infamous question…?!

Anon: ‘Emma’

Me: ‘Yes’

Anon: ‘Why did you move to France?!’

Me: ‘Because I wanted to learn French and France seemed like a good place to do it.’

Anon: ‘Ah right….’*silent pause* ‘Why do you want to learn French?!’

While feeling like I am being questioned by a 3 year old with all the 'whys', I usually give the same scripted response:

Me: ‘Because I want to work in International health and French is one of the major languages’

(I call that the company line)

It is much easier to throw that line at someone than the real answer.

I came to France to learn French because… well I don’t really have a reason why, I just know that I wanted to. It is actually one of the few things in life that I knew that I wanted.

I was never that child that knew what they wanted to do when they were older. I have so many friends that knew from an early age what they wanted to do. Some wanted to be doctors, others nurses, lawyers, journalists, even hairdressers, so they went off and did these things accordingly. Me on the other hand, I had no idea and as a result tried to be everything. I participated in every extra-curricular activity known to man during my school years including: ballet, playing 2 musical instruments, singing, drama classes, netball, athletics, karate, I even did orienteering and got to the state level (yes, I was a geek). I loved maths, reading and writing stories. I wanted to try everything and almost did (my poor parents!) Every time I watched the Olympics, I dreamed of competing in them (in which sport is anyones guess as the dreams went from gymnastics to hurdles, even judo crossed my mind). I’d watch a movie and want to be an actress; I would see a cat and want to be a vet… Sensing the pattern here?! With such a broad range of interests, it was impossible to pin anything down and it just left me feeling overwhelmed and confused with no idea which way to turn. 

I remember when I was in my last few weeks of high school & filling out application papers for uni, flicking through the pages of the SATAC guide with my eyes closed, randomly stopping at pages and writing down whatever my finger landed on. Not exactly the most genius way to choose a course and it was no wonder we had to get the guide out again when I actually got accepted, as I had no idea that behavioural science was actually psychology and that I would now be studying it at university. Getting into nursing was equally as ridiculous as 1yr into the psych degree, I wasn’t happy and when discussing this with a friend’s mum, she randomly suggested nursing. Why not? Sounded good to me and off I went the next year into nursing.

Actually, there was one thing I knew I wanted to do from a young age, and that was travel. I was always fascinated by history and exotic countries (which at the time was anything outside of Australia) and not long after high school, I deferred uni and went on my first overseas.

I spent 5 months living in North Carolina in the USA teaching kids how to canoe (there’s another hidden talent) and I loved it. It lit a fire within me that has only burnt brighter since. From there I went to Europe which is when I visited France for the very first time. September 11 2001 will always be a bittersweet day for me, bitter of course due to it being September 11 and sweet as it was the first time I visited Paris. If only I knew then what I know now…

Isn’t it funny where life takes us?!

Anyway, fast forward 11 years and after 1 and a half university degrees, several trips around the world and over 35 countries later I am here, in France, 30 years old, with still absolutely no idea what to do with my life, but I am loving it none the less!

I am just taking each day as it comes and am simply doing what I want to do, which at this stage is learn French. Maybe one day I will get into international health, but for now I am happy learning French because it’s just what I want to do. There are days when it sucks; I am not going to lie, like when I feel isolated due to my ability to only be able to communicate sounding like a 3yr old exchange student, but these days if they don’t break you make you stronger right?! If I can walk away from France with nothing but the French language under my belt that can only be a positive thing right?! I can add it to my list of achievements, right up there with my black belt in karate and my university degree, and even maybe one day, I can pool all these obscure talents together and figure what I am truly looking for.

Did you always know what you wanted to do with your life?! Are you doing it?! I’m curious to know!