Paris. Le chapitre deux.

So here I am. In Paris.

I have been here for about 6 weeks now and I can tell you I hit the ground running and this is the first time that I have had to myself to really sit down and process.

So here I am.

I arrived with all the apprehensions I had when I left. I had worked myself into such a stress frenzy in Adelaide that I felt like I had burnt a hole into my chest from heartburn. I stepped off my flight from Zurich, surrounded by strangers in a place that was so familiar but no longer felt like home. Somewhat like a robot, I found myself following them to the baggage carousel, collecting my luggage and walking out of the airport without as much as a second glance from immigration.

Bienvenue a Paris.

I found a taxi and without even a thought I spoke to the taxi driver in French with an ease I had never experienced before. I shocked even myself as I explained where I wanted to go and entered into polite chit chat. As I sat there looking out the window watching the countryside go by I began to think about what I had done. Every other time I had come to Paris I was filled with a sense of excitement and this time I felt nothing.  

No excitement, no sadness, just no emotion.

After getting lost in my thoughts, I realised that we had arrived at my friend’s house where I would be staying for the first few weeks.  He came to the door and greeted me with a huge smile and a bear hug and instantly it felt like I had never left. We chatted about our lives and what had been happening and for the first time in weeks I started to feel at ease about being here. I freshened up then headed out into the warm Parisian summer air for my first social engagement for the new season, spending time with other friends and feeling their love and enthusiasm of my return.

The next day a new adventure was to begin. 

The reason I had found myself back in France, the commencement of my Masters.

As quickly as I arrived, I gathered my things and made my way to the meeting point for the bus to Brittany where I was to spend my first week for school. I arrived to see many new faces, seemingly delighted to be in Paris and instantly I felt myself isolated.

I didn’t want to be there, a big part of my heart and mind still in Australia and I just stood there, feeling invisible, wandering what on earth I was doing.

Once I got on the bus things slowly began to change and I began a conversation with the girl next to me. She was from Africa, had studied in America and was going into the second year of the course. I started to quiz her about it, asking a million questions, what to expect, how did she feel and slowly I could feel myself begin to relax and think that maybe, just maybe this was a good idea after all.

Upon arriving in Brittany, I was finally able to get an idea about the school and people I was going to be involved with for the next 2 years of my life. There were 34 people from 22 different countries in my class, each coming with their own experiences and beliefs but joined together with the common interest of Public Health. It is then I truly realised what an amazing this opportunity really is and so the school year began.

We spent the week in Rennes not just trying to understanding what we had got ourselves into, but more importantly getting to know each other. Coming from my little isolated world in Adelaide, I felt like a flower opening in the sun as I would get to know each new person, a new culture, a new challenge.

Since returning to Paris I feel like I have been swept up in a storm.

Time has just flown by. Being at school every day from 9-5, working in the evenings and weekends and socialising, I have barely had time to fully comprehend what I have done.

So here I am now. Sitting quietly for a moment, contemplating.

I still don’t know how I feel about being here. 

Paris is still Paris. 

One day I love it, the next day I hate it, but what I do know, is I am meant to be here right now. I feel like I am coming out from the other side of the storm, things are finally beginning to calm and I can focus on just being. Ready to take on any challenge Paris throws my way and live the dream again.